To My Parents—
I know none of this will resonate with you. It’s a little out there. I’m sorry you guys are supporting a kid that’s forgotten why he came here, and why that shit was important.
But I gotta tell you, I feel so ready for this. I try to convince you when I speak to you, but sometimes your doubts get me doubting myself and suddenly I’m angry. The tone comes out and you hang up, call me three days later hoping I’ve calmed down.
You put up with way too much, and you know I’m trying to change that stuff.
Nowadays, though, I have to focus on myself and what I want to do. I only have a year left of this easy life, before things get real, and my confidence is put to the test by the world you’ve been warning me about. Luckily, I’m already in and of it, living in a city that I never dreamed back in California or Curitiba would be my place of residence.
I feel damn good, though, doing this stuff. That’s what you need to know. It makes no money right now but all I see is the light at the end of the tunnel and I know that I’m gonna make it there.
How amazing would it be to have a doctor and a writer in the family? Dad, don’t worry, I hold no hard feelings if you only brag about your daughter, but I’m going to be doing things only to honor what you always taught me:
Be yourself. Be who you know you can be. Whatever that is.
Sure, Dad, you always stressed money, but fuck, I’m going to take this public moment to congratulate you on the IPO. You’ve worked over thirty years for it, and now we don’t have much to worry about. When I saw the ticker symbol on CNN Money, when I saw the picture of you ringing the bell, of you smiling in jubilation, I took thirty minutes at work to close myself off in a room and get my shit together. Hell, I was crying over that stuff and my boss would even see, but I didn’t really care much. I told her the truth: that it wasn’t always like this, and that it wasn’t always easy. Now I can afford to run my mouth to the sounds of a Queens rapper whose partial claim to fame is a VICE webseries called “Fuck, That’s Delicious”.
But that rapper just said how I feel and only because you two made the dream real:
“I’m the motherfucking Golden Child.”
How else would I view myself? You know from experience how much I’ve cruised up to this point, meeting every challenge with ease. How many times did your daughter warn me about school getting more difficult? And how many times has it actually proven true? I’m laughing now only because I sound like a punk, but just know you made a kid that’s ready for all this, a kid that’s ready to stick his neck out and test the world’s guillotine.
If they drop it on me, they drop it on me, and I’ll still have that finance degree.
But now, I’m consumed with my latest challenge: building on what you made possible.
This one’s to you, the people that keep me alive, well, and sane.
